Yesterday I accidentally put cayenne pepper on my cottage cheese instead of seasoning salt. I don't really understand how it happened, but somewhere between absurdly hot spice and delicious seasoning salt...I choose the latter. You win some you lose some.

After realizing my mistake + a few giant gulps of water, I disdainfully realized it was the last of my cottage cheese and that the rest of my dinner was doomed. At this point all I had left was a microwaved potato.

I'd spent 20 minutes googling how to bake the said potato, and found out you could do it in the microwave. Let's look past the fact that I had to google "how to bake a potato" and instead focus on the fact that microwaving a potato shouldn't actually be a thing. It tasted almost as good as the cayenne pepper in my cottage cheese.

So there I sat, pitifully eating a semi-raw potato. 

And that is when it all hit me. 

It has taken me 22 years to learn how to bake a potato. 

This is the part of my post where it became less about the potato, and more about a realization of things I don't know or am unsure of. 

 

Because when it comes to being grown up and having a plan, I'm at the top of the indecision ladder. It's almost become a skill of mine to worry and stress about even the smallest decisions. And the fact that I don't know when I'll graduate or if I'll get a job just feeds the fire. Really not knowing where I'll be a few months from now is a stressful thing. Heck, I don't even know what I'm going to eat for dinner tonight since all my cottage cheese is gone! 

 I am a senior in college and I don't really have a plan. But I don't feel like I'm the only one out there. At a time in life where so many things are up in the air, I've come to the conclusion that how I'm handeling it is okay. Because in the past few months of my life I've finally been living life the way I want, rather than how I'm expected to. I am learning how to take really big jumps. And even taking them when the jumps are more of a free fall. It has been the best. Really, it has been. So many of my friends are married or on missions and this has been the driving force in what and how I've grown these past few months. And I am grateful for them because they've made me brave. 

And when I was approached with a scary, big opportunity I realized I couldn't say no. 

And after months of "I don't know" Y-E-S became the most intimidating word I'd said. Because I was saying it to Mbale, Uganda. And moving. And spending the next four months of my life doing really hard work. 

yes. 

please. 

Rachel 

Wannabe Triathletes

Long days and late nights

“When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated.

In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the loneliness and despair; let us feel the silent prayers of others around us, and let us be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer those prayers." 

-Lorenzo Snow

It's hard for me to not automatically turn inward when times get tough. Life has a way of overwhelming every day if I let it. I love what elder Bednar teaches about character:  

"Character is demonstrated by looking and reaching outward when the natural and instinctive response is to be self-absorbed and turn inward." 

Something I have been learning these past few months is the importance of recognizes that everyone has their problems. It is so much easier to have my own pity party, but the times where I choose not to always end better. Focusing on other people is my perfect cure for heartache, stress, and anxiety. I want to include a little bit of an email that Sister Hibbert (Cait) sent me a few weeks back: 

I'm realizing that the mission can be a painful learning process where we get torn down, but then God builds us up better than before. Sometimes it is hard, but then it is always better. But it is all good :) I was able to work through some stuff and am feeling light as a feather. I had to humble myself, and with God's help it is all possible! My new favorite motto/life theme is this: look heavenward (to God), reach outward (serve others), and change inward (look to yourself to make changes instead of blaming/ accusing/ expecting others to change). It's pretty deep, but I think that it is pretty amazing. It helps me keep a good perspective.

I love Sister Hibbert's new motto and have been trying to adopt it for myself as well. I am slowly learning that focusing on God, serving others, and allowing myself to be changed because of the first two is making all the difference. 

Look Heavenward
Reach Outward
Change Inward

Rachel

In west Philadelphia born and raised

 I am a child of the 90s. 

I remember when NOW that's what I call music came out with its first edition 

And when playing MASH at recess was the only thing I wanted to do.

When my days were spent walking to Lin's grocery store to buy these: 

Watching new episodes and trying to out-sing my brother and Will Smith in the opening credits: 

And my most honorable memory: being the treasurer of my sisters Backstreet Boys club. 

Life was good in the 90s. Life is good now...but life now doesn't have the Rugrats, Mary-Kate & Ashley as kids, or boom boxes. 

Enter Stacey Johnson

Stacey is a great soul and one of my best friends. It was her birthday on Friday and something needed to be done about that. We've been wanting to throw a party at Blue Condo since our last two. Remember these? 

America

camo

So we did. Last night we transformed the blue house into our childhood. So many friends crammed together dancing to the Spice Girls, Run DMC and NYSNC. All in honor of Staces birthday. Last night was a day I am sure I'll look back on and smile real big about. Because what more could you want as a senior in college than good friends and dance parties? I can think of a few things but they include not having to pay tuition or rent, never having to clean my room, and an endless supply of Nutella in my cupboard. It's good that I can take satisfaction in the plausible elements of my life. 

Mazel Tov to a good era, great friends, and a happy life. 

And to starting a blog. 

-Rachel

too many things to be happy about

Drove away from St. George for my last year at BYU

Stopped in Cedar to see my oldest friend

Then spent the next few days playing sports and talking about life in the mountains. 

 The next few days after that I was homeless and food-less. Thank heavens for a best friend that helps me survive, gives me great advice, and makes me a really good pancake breakfast. 

Then Slab Pizza became my least favorite place as I said goodbye to the Jeppesens. 

My best friend left me for Jerusalem. I guess I'm okay with it. But I misssss him. #fourmonths #hurryhome

But good news, the first day of school was a success. 

Because Stacey Johnson and I got to sell Intramural schedules at 4:30 AM. I don't know why or how we did it.

After the first week of school things started to settle down. A routine schedule was welcomed back into my life with extreeeemely open arms.

Since then new and old friends have made an appearance:  

For example, meet Shea. Shea is the coolest. We wake up every morning to do Insanity together. Don't ask us how many more days we still have to go. Or how much we sweat. 

Also, Jake the Cake. AKA the Italian Stallion... came a rolling into Provo. After 2.5 years of Russia and life, we were happy to see each other.

Team #lilnuggets started the season with a loss. But it was the most fun loss I've ever been a part of. I'm playing Quarterback (along with Summer) and I've never loved football more. I dived and rolled all over the place. Turf burns 4 life. 

 Mixed in between all these friends, school, work and new roommates are a myriad of other fun things. Many of which I forgot to take pictures of. Whoops, I'l work on it? But before I end this ridiculously long post I need to mention a few other noteworthy events.

JAMES TAYLOR. ohhhhh James. Changing our lives since 1991. We loved every single minute of his free concert. And somehow managed to sneak into really good seats. Sorry not sorry. 

Bonfires at Utah lake. So much fire, friends, and fun.

 Fiesta at Blue Condo. Meet Joslin and I, the newest FHE moms of the ward. Oh brother. 

Lastly, many a trip to my favorite place in all the land. It has been helping me have good days. It's also been a great reminder of the blessings I have in my life. It's easy to smile, laugh, and get through every day when there is so much to be happy about. 

-Rachel

EFY

Before I can adequately delve into how good fall semester has already been for me, I think it's necessary to pay tribute to what has been the absolute best summer of my life (yadda yadda I know Summer ended a month ago... whoops). I'll dish out credit where credits due and give homage to the 237 kids who taught me about what it means to be happy, how to be strong, and that sometimes it's okay to spend two months acting like an immature teenager (which was fairly easy for me because I think that's what I was already doing hah). EFY was a life-changing experience. It stretched me in ways I didn't anticipate. I was always tired, often sick, and had a few days were I just didn't want to be the bright and bubbly counselor I expected myself to be. Those were the days I learned the most. Each week was a new group of youth that I loved being with, and each week was finished with heartfelt hugs and newfound testimonies. Though I feel a little silly being SO gung-ho about the EFY program, I refuse to undermine how much I love it. I love it because of what it did for me, the people it introduced me to, the friends I made, and for the way it strengthened my testimony of this gospel.

So here's one big mazel tov to the eight weeks I spent laughing, crying, screaming, yelling, cheering, DANCING, walking (don't get me started on how much I walked), not sleeping, and being so extremely happy. Happier than I ever have been. 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

And NOW, here's to life post EFY. Thus meaning: school, work, friends (new and old), dating, BYU games, internships, and still not sleeping. 

-Rachel