Yesterday I accidentally put cayenne pepper on my cottage cheese instead of seasoning salt. I don't really understand how it happened, but somewhere between absurdly hot spice and delicious seasoning salt...I choose the latter. You win some you lose some.
After realizing my mistake + a few giant gulps of water, I disdainfully realized it was the last of my cottage cheese and that the rest of my dinner was doomed. At this point all I had left was a microwaved potato.
I'd spent 20 minutes googling how to bake the said potato, and found out you could do it in the microwave. Let's look past the fact that I had to google "how to bake a potato" and instead focus on the fact that microwaving a potato shouldn't actually be a thing. It tasted almost as good as the cayenne pepper in my cottage cheese.
So there I sat, pitifully eating a semi-raw potato.
And that is when it all hit me.
It has taken me 22 years to learn how to bake a potato.
This is the part of my post where it became less about the potato, and more about a realization of things I don't know or am unsure of.
Because when it comes to being grown up and having a plan, I'm at the top of the indecision ladder. It's almost become a skill of mine to worry and stress about even the smallest decisions. And the fact that I don't know when I'll graduate or if I'll get a job just feeds the fire. Really not knowing where I'll be a few months from now is a stressful thing. Heck, I don't even know what I'm going to eat for dinner tonight since all my cottage cheese is gone!
I am a senior in college and I don't really have a plan. But I don't feel like I'm the only one out there. At a time in life where so many things are up in the air, I've come to the conclusion that how I'm handeling it is okay. Because in the past few months of my life I've finally been living life the way I want, rather than how I'm expected to. I am learning how to take really big jumps. And even taking them when the jumps are more of a free fall. It has been the best. Really, it has been. So many of my friends are married or on missions and this has been the driving force in what and how I've grown these past few months. And I am grateful for them because they've made me brave.
And when I was approached with a scary, big opportunity I realized I couldn't say no.
And after months of "I don't know" Y-E-S became the most intimidating word I'd said. Because I was saying it to Mbale, Uganda. And moving. And spending the next four months of my life doing really hard work.
yes.
please.
Rachel
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